Life's For the Living
by amber von tussle
Summary: so live it, or you're better off dead. Part of the Garrison!verse.


Athos was sat at the window, watching the rain hit the window. They'd been sat there for fifteen minutes before somebody came and sat next to them. Lucien leant his head against their chest and said quietly, "What're you thinking about?"

Athos shrugged. "Nothing really," they said. "Just watching the rain."

"Does it make you feel calm? It makes me feel calm. Like everything just stops. The world is so busy, and suddenly it stops for a moment and is quiet and calm. I think the world is sad."

"You do?" asked Athos. "Why?"

"Because rain is like crying," said Lucien quietly. "When you cry on someone you get them wet. Maybe the world is crying on us. I think when it thunderstorms the world is very upset because when you get really really upset you get a bit angry too, and sometimes you do things that you shouldn't do like hit or scream. And thunderstorms happen because the world is a little bit angry, and it's not really supposed to thunder and lightning and hurt people and set stuff on fire ... but the world can't help it."

Athos frowned. "Lucien ..." they said quietly.

His eyes filled with tears. "I miss my parents," he murmured into their chest.

"I know," they replied gently. "I miss mine, too. And my brother. But sometimes it is someone's time to leave ..."

"No! It wasn't my mamma's or my papa's! I needed them!" He pulled away stubbornly.

"I needed mine too," said Athos quietly. "You know, when they died I was really sad, and I never did anything. I didn't want anyone to talk to me. I just wanted to be alone and never do anything. I wished I hadn't bothered going to work, and I'd died too. But you know what? It was completely the wrong thing to do." Lucien screwed up his nose in confusion. "My life didn't stop because theirs did. I was still alive; still living. And I realised that if it were me, I'd want my family to keep on living even though I was gone. There are a ton of things my little brother will never get to do. He'll never be able to go to the waterpark and go down the biggest slide there is or learn to ride a unicycle, or grow tomatoes in the garden. So you know what I do? I do those things for him. Instead of stopping because he has, I live for him. I live the best life I can, because he can't."

Lucien smiled. "Maybe the world is sad because people die and dogs are hurt. Sometimes you can't control the things that make you sad. Sometimes you're sad because you did something wrong and you're in trouble, but you can control that. Sometimes, though, you're sad because life is hard, and it's not fair and it hurts people, like the boy who is hungry but his mamma doesn't have enough money to feed him, or the girl who is really really rich but she doesn't have any friends. That's sad because everyone should be loved and have friends and have enough money to feed themselves and buy good clothes. And everyone says yes, that is sad but then they never do anything. They feel sorry for the boy with borrowed or mucky clothes but then they talk about him and say he doesn't look good and that he must come from a bad home, even though his mamma loves him more than anything in the world and is trying her best to get more money. They talk about the rich girl too. They pretend to like her and say you're really pretty but then they turn their nose and say she must be a brat because she's rich."

"People are hypocritical," they said sadly. "They say one thing and do another. They want to look good but when people's backs are turned, the truth comes out. They judge people and never try to understand. Whatever they see must be the truth, when not everything is black and white. A man murdered a banker, but why? Maybe the banker was hurting his children. Maybe the banker was taking some of the bank's money for himself. Maybe the man was trying to protect himself from the banker. Maybe the man was an assassin in disguise and he was trying to kill a spy, but his aim was unclear and he shot the banker instead of the spy. Nothing is as it seems."

"I don't like people," he said grumpily. "They're horrible."

"Yes," Athos agreed, "we are horrible and flawed. We are arrogant, rude, egotistical and manipulative. We are snobbish, lazy, imprudent and selfish. We are cruel, insensitive, ignorant and naïve. But it's who we are. Nobody's perfect. But we can try. We can try to be polite or a little bit more selfless; we can try to be more accepting and open-minded."

"I'm going to do that," said Lucien firmly. "Because I don't know people I meet on the street. They might be having a bad day. Their dog might've just died, or their friend cancelled on them, or they feel a bit sad." He wrapped an arm around their chest and rested his head there again. "Athos? There's a girl in my history class, and I think she's a bit sad. There's this boy who teases her and he says she's weird because she's got short hair. Can we make her some cookies to take to school on Monday?"

Athos smiled. "Of course we can. Tomorrow we'll go and get all the ingredients we need." They laughed. "Hey, look. It's stopped raining."

"The world is happy again," said Lucien. "It must be because we did something nice to make the world happy again."


End file.
